


Life will feel like love and death keep adding up their tabs

by g_r_a_u



Series: Lay your hands on their soul like a whisper [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional Intimacy, Hurt/Comfort, I mean we're getting there, Innocent bed sharing, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, established Daryl/Beth, mentions of Grady, mentions of past trauma but not explicit, possible set-up for more to come, sorry guys no smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_r_a_u/pseuds/g_r_a_u
Summary: On some days the past sneaks up on her, memories leaving her adrift and maybe all she needs is the comfort of being held.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene, Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene/Rick Grimes
Series: Lay your hands on their soul like a whisper [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064030
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	Life will feel like love and death keep adding up their tabs

**Author's Note:**

> The more I read this over, the more amateur and awful it appears to me, so I might as well stop editing it to death before I find the delete button. 
> 
> Playing with the Brickyl dynamic - It's still new to me but I want to slowly explore the beginning of their relationship. Definitely challenged myself to include a "new" character. Also, why not angst? Loosely plays in the universe of [Find me lost in memories past](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055211). (It's not a continuation of my other attempt at this OT3.)
> 
> Thank you to Kirsty for being an absolute gem for lending me your ear and the constructive criticism. Thank you to Susan for always cheering me on even if it might not be your cuppa tea. 💖
> 
> English is not my first language, all mistakes are my own. Dankeschön. :)

The day is gray and glum, but it’s not the weather that is weighing heavy on his mind. He takes a long drag from his cigarette, appreciating the absurdity of the situation as he watches Dog do his business in the white picket-fenced backyard of his Alexandria townhouse. 

His negative perception of the community has changed over time, and it has reluctantly become home. A safe place at least, somewhere to rest and recollect and heal. 

Most of them have healing to do, in one way or another. Most won’t admit to it. At the very least they keep going and try to find joy where they can.

He considers himself lucky, as much as he usually rejects the idea of fortune or faith, but she proved him wrong, to a degree. Her return, however miraculous to most, is to him a testament of her resilience and strength, even though she disagrees with the sentiment. 

Especially on days like today. 

Their relationship is easy. It just makes sense: the way they gravitate to each other is the most natural thing he’s ever experienced. He spent his whole life second-guessing platonic and romantic relationships, the intentions behind them, but with her it never causes him worry or anxiety. They get to explore each other's minds and bodies in ways that are new and thrilling to them both. That doesn’t mean that things are always perfect and never challenging.

“Hey Daryl, mind if I pick your brain for a few minutes?” Rick leans casually over the fence, map in one hand and a tupperware with what looks like cookies in the other. A welcome distraction, so Daryl nods and motions for the other man to join him. 

“Those have peanut butter, apparently. Tara made ‘em fresh this morning.” 

Rick sits down on the lawn furniture, handing off the cookies just before Dog can start begging him for it. “Beth inside?”

Daryl hums in reply. “Yeah, she’s upstairs. Can eat ‘em after we go over this.” 

He wonders if he sounds a little gruff, but this is Rick. The man has never held any of his moods against him before. With a small dip of his head, Rick opens the map and explains some areas he’d like to explore further, mentions previous discussions with Aaron and fills him in on the latest plan to help Oceanside prepare their huts for winter. 

Their brainstorming is always something Daryl very much enjoys, all the way back to the beginning. Problem solving is his strength and it takes the two of them not long to plan out the next month, barring any post-apocalyptic surprises. 

With their work done, the two enjoy the comfortable silence before Rick speaks up.

“So, how’s Beth?” Of course Rick would ask, a somber look on his face as he does so. 

Daryl bites the inside of his cheek, gives a silent answer in the form of a shake of his head. Rick knows. He has been very close with both of them since the day she returned to their family. It was hard at first, unlearning their grief and fitting into each other’s lives again. Beth struggled greatly, and so did Daryl. Rick was their sounding board and anchor, keeping a level head when Beth sought danger and Daryl despaired every time she left the zone and came back worse for wear. He spent many days at their home, reminding Daryl to eat or take a break. Listened to Beth’s screams in the night and sat at her bedside when she cursed Daryl away. Along with Daryl, he is the only one she would ever mention the hospital to. Because of this did he stop wearing handcuffs around her as well as his Sheriff shirt. 

“It’s the nightmares again, ‘bout Grady.” Daryl sighs, wringing his hands. “You know her. She’s strong. Ain’t like her to ask for help or really talk about it.”

Rick looks unsurprised, nods pensively and lets his eyes wander across the yard over to Dog who is chewing up a weathered soccer ball. “Sounds like someone else I know.” 

Daryl huffs a laugh, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small smile. “Guess we’re rubbing off on each other.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” A pause, and Daryl knows there’s more Rick wants to say. “Well, you just lemme know if there’s anything I can ever do for you guys.”

The men lock eyes, and Daryl welcomes the familiar understanding between them. It means a lot to him to have Rick by his side for so many years. There are not many people he likes to share his time and space with, but with him it has always been different. Even through rough patches were they butted heads over which way to proceed one way or the other, they had always ended the day the same way- sitting together in amicable silence. Sharpening knives, cleaning guns, smoking, or just getting warmed by a campfire. He could never really put his appreciation into words, to have a friend who allowed him to be himself and encouraged him unreservedly. 

He nods his thanks, averts his eyes just as the door opens and Beth leans out into the yard. 

Her hair is dishevelled from being in bed and she pulls her blanket tighter around her shoulders when the cold air hits her bare skin- he knows she’s only wearing shorts and one of his t-shirts underneath. From the distance he can still see the tension in her brow and the dark circles under her eyes. Even so, she’s still the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. 

She hesitates when she notices Rick and gives a small smile. “Oh hey, Rick. Everything ok?” 

“Everything's all right, Beth. Brought you guys some cookies.” Rick’s easy smile and the mention of baked goods seem to lift the mood a smidgen, as Beth tiptoes over to him and pecks his cheek in greeting. 

“Well, how about I make us some tea then.” 

Happy to escape the cool weather they head inside to warm up. The smell of peppermint fills the room quickly and Beth, having traded her blanket for a robe, settles in next to Daryl. They do not tend to display affection in front of other people, but Rick is the exception, he’s always welcome and spends a good amount of free time here, sometimes with the kids, sometimes without. The guys make conversation, small talk really, about Eugene’s newest plans that sound too good to be true, Ezekiel’s ambition for a fair next summer, and the need for more books to educate the children. Beth remains curled up and silent with her head on Daryl’s shoulder, and he hopes this is good for her. It relieved him when she ate a little bit. He catches Rick observing Beth with a certain amount of worry, too, and shoots him a knowing look. It helps to share these things sometimes, especially when Daryl feels a little lost as to how to help his partner. 

“I don’t think I ever said thank you.” Beth sits up straight and lets her gaze wander between them. The conversations halts and the two men pause to let her continue. 

“You both came to get me from Grady, and I’m very grateful you did.” She shudders and grasps for Daryl’s hand. She hardly ever brings up the hospital by herself, mostly refuses to talk about it completely. 

Rick locks eyes and regards her carefully. “Look, Beth-”

“I spoke with Maggie and she still feels guilty about how things ended there. And I just… I just wanna make sure you both don’t still hold onto that as well.” A bit detached, but determined to make her point. 

Daryl’s mouth goes dry because Grady is possibly one of his biggest failures. To his relief, Rick speaks up for them both, elbows on his knees and voice calm. “We should’ve never left you behind. And that’s on me, I should’ve— “

“ _ No _ , no more of this. Gotta let it go.” She squeezes Daryl’s hand for emphasis and leans forward to fix Rick with a look that shows how serious she is. Daryl however, knows better. Can tell from the tension and slight tremor, and the fact that she won’t even look at him.    
  
“Just like you did?” It spills out of his mouth before he can stop the words, and the way her head whips around tells him he’s clearly touched a nerve. He was expecting anger, but her expression is hard to read and a little too distant. 

“I _ did _ put it away.” Barely more than a whisper.

“Baby, you did. But you gotta… deal with it.” He speaks low and gentle, and gives her fingers a squeeze. 

She’s withdrawing her hand, and stands up abruptly. “I don’t wanna deal with something that happened so many years ago.” 

“I know we talked about it before, but you could still speak to Siddiq-” Rick stops himself and quickly holds up his hands in surrender.

“Not my place, apologies.” 

Beth runs a hand through her hair in frustration, and it breaks Daryl’s heart a little. It is something they keep discussing whenever the headaches serve as a reminder that a bullet carved its path through her head. When her mood grows dark and she can’t get out of bed. Not often, rare even, usually stress related, and he can only help her so much by being present and holding her, making sure she drinks water and eats. 

“I  _ said,  _ I don’t wanna talk about it. I just... wanna go lie down.” She shrugs dispassionately, fidgeting with her sleeves. Eyes downcast and she looks so small. 

“Sure, of course.” Rick stands, getting ready to leave, but seems a bit reluctant. Probably weighing his words. He pushes his hands in his pockets and Daryl is a little sorry for having him pulled into this again. Despite her words, he knows she isn’t mad at either or them, and more frustrated with herself. 

“I need... can you please stay?” The request is a quiet one, but not timid. She glances from Rick to Daryl for approval when she adds, “I want you  _ both _ to lie down with me.”

Daryl is suddenly overcome with emotion, curiosity and nervousness alike. This is a new idea, and he should feel taken aback or confused by the suggestion. But this isn’t about him, it’s about what she needs right now and he trusts both of these people more than anyone else in this life.    
  
“Yeah,” he simply says, with a little shrug like it’s no big deal. Which it kind of is and also isn’t, he’s not sure. 

Rick looks a little flushed, mouth slightly open in surprise before he clears his throat and settles for a nod. 

A tired smile and a sigh of relief from Beth as she extends her hands to both men, Daryl reaches for her immediately and notes how cold her fingers are, Rick is a little hesitant but intertwines his fingers with hers at last. His eyes flit around a little restlessly. “You both sure about that?” His drawl is stronger than usual, and a smile tugs on Daryl’s lips upon seeing Rick a little flustered.

“Let’s go up then,” he simply suggests and their walk up to the bedroom makes his heart pound hard in anticipation.

It feels a bit surreal, the whole day does now, and maybe he’s just a little light-headed from the lack of good sleep when he discards his shoes at the top of the stairs. Dresses down to his shirt and boxers, can’t go to bed with jeans is their rule, and watches from the periphery how Beth takes off the robe and climbs into the sheets, falling down exhausted onto the pillows. She must be even more tired, having found little rest since her talk with Maggie the night before. He’d held her then and always would. But maybe it was good to try something else now. 

Rick looks a little unsure, hands on his belt and boots kicked aside. 

“C’mon,” Daryl quietly encourages, nudging the other man’s elbow. It’s quite the view, watching him unbuckle and shimmy out of his jeans- the circumstances aren’t sexy but the man sure is, but he has to put that away. It’s not the right moment. He lowers himself onto the bed, and Beth turns to face him, tipping her forehead to his. 

“Thank you,” she whispers, and he knows it’s not just for this. Tears are pricking at the corner of her eyes- she doesn’t have to say more. He kisses her gently, reassuringly, before seeking her gaze again, full of love and trust. 

He marvels that having another man into their bedroom doesn’t seem weird at all, there are no doubts or trepidation. Daryl feels a little dazed and can see Rick’s apprehension when their eyes meet. His hands are interlaced with Beth’s, his thumbs stroking in gentle circles to soothe her trembling when the bed dips under Rick’s weight and the other man settles behind her, pulling the blanket over them. Rick is moving slowly and carefully, barely inching forward before placing a hand tentatively on her hip. She exhales a shuddering breath, and Daryl hopes that Rick knows that her shivers are not from fear. The overload of emotion is palpable, the three of them are pulsing with the unfamiliar and the novelty of the situation. Daryl reaches out to grasp Rick’s arm, securing their embrace, and within a couple of beats of their racing hearts calmness and peacefulness comes over them. 

(Hours later, they wake. Darkness has fallen and into the shadows, Beth whispers to them about linoleum flooring and the haze of pain medication, the loneliness and the handcuffs around her wrists, sour apple lollipops and all the blood. Tears run freely and get kissed away, and Daryl hopes that their strong arms and gentle hands ground her and remind her that she’s thousands of miles and years away from Atlanta. His blood boils and his soul aches and he can see the same emotions mirrored in Rick’s eyes. Her suffering cuts into them alike, and he would gladly take all of it from her if he could. They whisper reassurances into her ear until she closes her eyes and her breathing evens out- the nightmares do not return this time.)

(When morning comes, Daryl wakes up in a tangle of limbs and hair tickling his nose. Beth’s shirt has ridden up and he strokes her soft stomach absentmindedly, relishing the tranquility surrounding them. He’s enjoying this moment to himself, listening to the calm breathing of those sleeping next him. Almost shyly, he chances a glance over Beth’s head at Rick, who appears to be tucked into her side. It seems to fit, this,  _ them,  _ and it makes his heart flutter. 

Last night was cathartic, or so he hopes. The rising sun will soon wake his companions, and another day will begin. But this right now, it just feels true. It feels sincere without any expectation. He wonders if this could’ve been a shift in their relationship rather than an exception. It leaves him hopeful of what is yet to come.

Later, at breakfast, sitting around the table and in easy conversation, he observes. The colour is back in her cheeks, and there is wonderment in Rick’s eyes when his glance shifts between the two of them. They speak easily, and enjoy each other’s company like so many times before. Beth’s demons are still there, but she’s trying. The world is still gone to hell, but they’re hanging on. This, he thinks, is contentment. He drinks his coffee and smiles.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Eeeek, thanks for making it through this. All feedback welcome. ✨


End file.
